Marriage Advice for Busy Couples

I haven’t been to the gym in over a month. I haven’t been slacking off, I’ve just gotten so addicted to Fitness Blender’s videos on YouTube that I haven’t wanted to do anything else.

I stumbled across these after I blew out my knee in February and was on YouTube looking for low impact workouts (which they have a ton).  This was one of the first ones I did.

The videos are easy to follow and they’re all completely free on YouTube or on their website. (Don’t be mistaken and take easy-to-follow to mean easy. They have made me cuss a time or ten.) On their website, they have free printable routines and they also have a guide you can purchase for five bucks that gives you a routine to follow. Best $5 I’ve ever spent. And no they aren’t paying me anything. I just like it a lot.

As a bonus, they’re created by husband and wife team Daniel and Kelli Segars, so sometimes she’s featured in the videos and sometimes he is. I always love a little Making Love at Work action (don’t worry– you can follow the link at work, I promise).

Try one of their shorter routines to do with your spouse if you don’t already work out together. They have cardio routines and strength training in case you would prefer one or the other. I recommend the Red Light/Green Light routine below. As a warning—this one is hard, but fun to do as a pair. Enjoy!

Have you ever tried Fitness Blender’s workouts? What types of workouts do you and your spouse do together?

It’s April and time for a new focus! This month’s focus is physical fitness.

I’m not talking about the kind of physical fitness that’s going to get you summer-ready. I’m talking about the kind of physical fitness that’s going to get you life-ready. I’m talking about the kind of small-changes that you can make daily that reap those big-benefit rewards that I always write about here. And I’m talking about working together to get it.

This story about Angela and Willie Gillis, a Texas couple that worked together to lose a combined 500 pounds over the course of two years, couldn’t be more on time. Willie and Angela weighed 492 and 338 pounds respectively in January 2011. Over the course of two years, Willie has lost 300 pounds and Angela has lost 200 pounds, leaning on each other all the way for support.
The pair came up with a plan to hit the gym together. They changed their eating habits with Willie doing most of the research and Angela becoming the kitchen “expert” at preparing healthy meals. They became each others accountability partners in the process, which they attribute to their success.

“I never wanted to come home and say, ‘This is what I did today,’ because I didn’t want to disappoint him,” she says. “And he didn’t want to disappoint me.” Said Angela.

Visit CNN to find out about this couple’s success story and visit their blog at WeBeatFat.com.

Throughout the month, I’ll be bringing you fitness and recipe ideas and challenges to help you start the process of getting fit together. Will you join us in getting fit this month? Let us know in the comments!

I’m excited  to share with you that I am now a Certified Prepare/Enrich Marriage Facilitator! If you haven’t heard of Prepare/Enrich, it is a customized couple assessment completed online that identifies a couple’s strength and growth areas. Based your assessment results, I can provide feedback sessions in order to help you discuss and understand your results, build on your strengths and provide strategies for growing in the areas of marriage where you could use some support.

In going through the assessment myself, all I could think was that I wish I had known about it when S and I got married. Seriously, I think it would have saved us from a lot of the conflict that came later or at least prepared us better for it.

If you would be interested to learn more about the assessment, please respond and let me know and I will add you to the interest list. I will be in touch with information on how Prepare/Enrich can help strengthen your marriage in the coming weeks. Feel free to pass this information along to engaged couples. You can contact me at prepare@makingloveinthemicrowave.com to learn more about Prepare/Enrich.

Am I the last one to discover these adorable note pads from Knock Knock? I had already planned to post about Knock Knock’s “All Out Of” pads for Timesaver Tuesday (more on those in a few) when I came across these:

If its little and hard to see without clicking, its a “prescription pad” where you get to help someone cure their “ailment” by choosing from options at the top like “massage,” “hug,” “good cry” etc. At the bottom you get to fill in the duration, refills and dosage. Looks like an adorable, cheap gift to brighten a moody spouse’s day. The Knock Knock Nifty Notes Prescription Pad has 50 sheets and is $3.52 cents on Amazon as of this post.

My original Knock Knock Tuesday Timesaver product was the Knock Knock All Out Of Note Pads .

These are lists with magnetic backs that you stick on your fridge and as you run out of different items in the kitchen, you or your family can check it off, and you just pull it off when you’re headed to the store and go. It saves the time, hassle and money of ending up with 5 bottles of ketchup and no butter because you forgot you were out of one and not the other. (Don’t act like its just me!)

Have you ever used Knock Knock’s products? Would you use either of these?
 

We had an unexpected late-March snow day today in Maryland and although S had to go to work, I’m enjoying my lounging with the not-so-little-anymore ones. I wish I had a cute snow-day inspired Pinterest craft to show you. But here’s what really happened:

Ate a breakfast of champions.

Daughter did a lot of this.

Son wanted to look like the Avatar. To complete this look, you must have an eyeliner pencil and kind of be able to draw a triangle.

Barely left here. That’s my bed in case you were confused. No selfies in this post. If you could see my hair right now you would know that there are just some things that aren’t meant to be shared.

And that’s my guide to the perfect snow day. Because what would snow be if not a perfect excuse for laziness and foolishness.

Did you have a snow day today? What’s your favorite way to relax on a bad weather day?

Just had to hit you all with a quickie I’m digging these sexy boots and think they would make a cute bedroom accessory. I might have to add them to my list of sexy staples. I read in the reviews that they fit well on a wide calf because of the bows down the side. What do you guys think? Ladies would you wear them? Men, do you like them? Yay or nay?

Like these Penthouse Sexy Boots? Get your own!
 

We are in our second week of reading and discussion of Alone in Marriage: Encouragement for the Times When It’s All Up to You
by Susie Larson. If you don’t have your copy, download or order it in paperback and use the Book Club study guide to follow along.

This week we read chapters on self-pity and fear in the book.  One of my favorite activities from the “fear” section was where Larson tells us to read Psalm 91 and replace the fearful items in the scripture with your own real fears, and personalize it for yourself.

³ Surely he will save you
from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday

So if I were to fill this in for myself I would insert something like:

5 You will not fear harm coming to your children, abandonment, or financial ruin.

–into the scripture and proclaim freedom from fear for myself.

Try this simple activity. Keep whatever you come up with near you, either on a piece of paper or on your phone so that you can re-read it for yourself whenever you feel the need.

What won’t you fear today? Tell us in the comments section!

I talk a lot here about time management, because its something that I can struggle with, and I know I’m not alone. As challenging as achieving that balance may be, it has to be there, or you won’t have the time you need to keep those connections strong between you and your family.

Respect for time, and how precious and finite it is, is vital to understanding how to relate to your own time, and that of other people. I’ve listed three ways to start learning to respect your time if you’re struggling in this area:

Determine what “urgent” means in your life and work. We all have different jobs where urgent may have different levels of meaning. Urgency for a brain surgeon means something different than urgency for a webmaster. I’m not suggesting that your urgency be any more or less important as it pertains to your job. I am saying that everything, no matter what your position in life, cannot fall into the category of urgent. Making all things extremely important means that 1) You’re never quite able to prioritize and 2) You’re never quite able to relax.

Stop making yourself accessible at all times. This was a lesson I had to learn during the year or so I spent working strictly freelance. Because I didn’t have “set” work hours, I gave clients an open door to contact me, pretty much whenever, and they did. I will admit that there was also a little part of me that was scared to lose clients by setting boundaries. It wasn’t until I realized that I was up on the phone until almost midnight talking about flyers that something had to change. I set hours, and lo and behold, everyone else adjusted accordingly. No matter what, you have to make time to be off limits.

Respect other people’s time. Treat other people how you want to be treated. Does your concern truly warrant interrupting someone else’s vacation, weekend, or family time? If it can be emailed, chances are the answer is no. Think about what would happen in an ideal world. In an ideal world we would be able to go to work and work and come home and make at least some time for our personal lives and families. If we start respecting our own time, and that of others, in that “ideal world” kind of way, maybe we can start taking the steps toward creating it.

Do you struggle to respect your own time? What steps can you take toward creating boundaries for yourself?

If you need a good resource to get a handle on your time management, check out Time Management from the Inside Out, Second Edition: The Foolproof System for Taking Control of Your Schedule — and Your Life

27 Breathtaking places to plant a romantic kiss on your spouse from the Romantic Vine.

An amazing playlist of sexy/romantic songs in all different genres from Hot Holy Humorous. 

4 Black Marriage Movies for just $30 from Black and Married With Kids .

Three true stories of forgiveness from Real Simple.

Stop running from your husband and find marital sexual intimacy from Makes Me Wanna Holler .

The best thing a wife can wear from The Generous Wife.

As many of you know, I started my blogging life on the blog Black and Married With Kids, a website dedicated to countering the trend of low marriage, high divorce and fractured families that African American families face in overwhelmingly high numbers. I’m happy to announce that today through Sunday at midnight—the site will be having its biggest sale ever: Order all four of the site’s family documentaries ($80 value) for only $30.

I’ve been at every last one of their film premieres in-person, and I can tell you that you will not be disappointed (and you know I don’t steer you wrong!). I won’t ruin anything for you, but make sure you get lots of tissues before you start watching—trust me you won’t make it through You Saved Me without them.

These aren’t just chick flicks, though. S, will tell you with a quickness that he only likes watching movies where things blow up, and he watched, and enjoyed them with me

 The Four-Pack Includes:

1. You Saved Me (Trailer above) You Saved Me takes an emotional, in-depth look into the marriages of eight African-American couples, exploring marriages trials, changes, successes, and ultimately, the healing that comes out of true love and commitment.
2. Still Standing A diverse group of couples provide transparent, insightful conversation about what it takes to have lasting power in current day marriages. Through infidelity, chronic illness, financial crisis and more these couples explain WHY and more importantly HOW they are STILL STANDING.
3. Men Ain’t Boys The film offers a thought provoking look at issues such as stereotypes surrounding manhood, the results of effective fatherhood and the requirements for maintaining lasting love, relationships and marriages. Men Ain’t Boys provides a blueprint for men, women and children to learn how real men live and how real men love.
4. Happily Ever After: A Positive Image of Black Marriage Happily Ever After Through Happily Ever After, the Tylers sought to challenge negative media representations of Black marriage and relationships through interviews with real-life, successful Black couples. Counselors and marriage experts speak on the prevalence of Black marriage stereotypes and the multi-layered effect of the decline of Black marriage and families.

Find more trailers and order your family pack today; if not for yourself, these definitely make good wedding and anniversary gifts.

Order Here